[EJ 2] Through the Viewfinder: Discovering the Self in Every Snapshot

Through the topics that we've delved into in Understanding Oneself, I've been inspired to reflect on my journey in developing my passion for photojournalism. In this ejournal, I'll walk you through the hardships and triumphs I've faced in finding my way to photojournalism, and how this experience has led to significant personal growth. Looking back, I realized that this journey has made a huge contribution to shaping the person I am today.

I. Self-Esteem, Self-Concept, Self-Efficacy

I still vividly remember that day in eighth grade when I discovered my talent and passion for photography. It was a slow afternoon in class, and we were all doing our own things. My dear friend, CJ, mentioned that he was going to participate in our school's press conference (SPC). In this event, the top two winners in each journalism category would be chosen to represent our school in the upcoming Division Schools Press Conference 2016. As soon as I heard him, I immediately expressed my interest in joining, as I was just starting to enjoy taking pictures, thanks to the rise of Instagram. However, I didn't have my own camera. CJ kindly lent me his digicam while he used his latest iPhone. It was a touching moment, realizing that he didn't see me as a competitor but as a friend. We both joined the SPC without any particular expectations. When the results were announced, I was surprised to find out that I got in for the category of Photojournalism. Unfortunately, CJ didn't make it that year. All the winners immediately started training with our teachers and some students who had already participated in these contests as our coaches. Looking back, discovering my passion for photography reflects the development of my self-concept and how supportive friendships can foster personal growth.

I remember having so much fun meeting new people and training for the upcoming contests. However, it wasn’t always easy and fun. We were required to submit an output every day to help us enhance our skills, all while juggling academic responsibilities. We missed most of our classes and exams, and we weren’t excused just because we were representing the school in contests. Additionally, photojournalism was a completely new skill for me. I had no prior knowledge of this type of photography, and I struggled a lot in the beginning, trying to grasp its basic concepts. Each day, we were given a new topic as the theme for our photos. I would explore different shooting styles, make creative captions, craft stories from my shots, and layout my work as I trained. It was tiring and hard. However, a part of me never felt like giving up. I remember being optimistic that I would become good at photography and win the contest. As I continued on this journey, I was happy to see my interest growing into something more substantial. It was incredibly rewarding to slowly realize that I was developing a true passion for photography not merely learning for the sake of winning. 

As I mentioned, learning photography wasn’t the easiest challenge for me. I remember a time when I felt really discouraged because my outputs hadn’t been good for several days. I started questioning my abilities and whether I deserved to represent our school in this contest. One of my older co-contestants noticed I was feeling down, and we talked for a while that day. I told him I was feeling disheartened and unsure if I can be good at this and if I deserved to compete in the photojournalism category. I remember him giving me comforting and motivating words, but what stuck with me the most was when he said,

“Alam mo, Margaux, kilala kita at alam kong magaling ka e. Nakikita ko ‘yong potensyal mo kaya ipakita mo sa amin na kaya mo.” 

From then on, I started practicing more, keeping his words in mind. Even when I doubted my abilities, there was this one person who reminded me of my strengths and potential. I also attended seminars and always sought my coach’s feedback. With perseverance to learn and improve, I finally started seeing progress. I received compliments from different people, and it was incredibly fulfilling to be recognized for something I worked hard on. Their compliments felt like winning already. This was the moment when I began to see and believe in myself as I got better at taking photos and telling stories through images. During this time, I was progressively starting to identify myself as a photojournalist.

The various trainings, words of encouragement from my co-contestants, and the helpful techniques from my mentors played a crucial role in building my self-efficacy. As the contest date approached, I found myself growing more confident in my knowledge and skills, feeling assured that I was capable of representing our school as their photojournalist. While winning would have been a wonderful bonus, especially as a first timer, my primary focus was on the experience itself. I remember telling myself that if I didn't win this year, I still have four years to experience winning and represent our school in the regional level. With those realizations, the journey of learning, improving, and being part of such a supportive community was immensely rewarding, and it strengthen my belief in my own capabilities. This newfound confidence, nurtured through photography, provided me with a positive sense of self-efficacy, empowering me to face any challenges that I may face during the contest with optimism and view them as opportunities for growth.

Fast forward to the contest day, I did not know what to expect: what kind of topic will be given to us?  what story will I try to tell?  will my pictures turn out well? will I finish on time? The first-time jitters were quick to set in, but I made sure that these feelings of fear and nervousness wouldn’t overcome me and told myself to focus on the output that I was trying to achieve. Three hours went by too fast, and I remember submitting my output with no idea what I just did. It was an “it is what it is” moment.  The next day, fast forward to the awarding ceremony, I remember already removing the expectations of winning any place in this moment since I wasn’t sure how I did–well, I did okay, but I wasn’t confident enough if the judge would like my take on the topic. Surprisingly we heard our school being called and my co-contestants were starting to cheer for me—I won. I won seventh place (see Figure 1) despite not being confident for my work. I could not believe it, but at the same time I was filled with joy as I was recognized for my hard work. 

Figure I: First Win as a Photojournalist

After the DSPC 2016 contest, I found myself in a surprising role the following year as a representative of photojournalism for the individual category. Aside from being a participant, I ended up mentoring my co-contestants as well. It was quite the shift, being a learner and to becoming a mentor; however, I really enjoyed imparting my knowledge and sharing my skills with them. Although I didn't win any awards that year, I was thrilled to see two of the co-contestants I helped bag their first wins. One even secured second place, representing our school in the regional competition. Witnessing their growth and success felt like a win for me too, it was a truly fulfilling experience.

In 2018, our coach decided to put me in a competing team for Collaborative Desktop Publishing in Filipino. Our task was to create a four-paged newspaper from scratch within four hours. I took on the roles of both a photojournalist and a feature writer. The pressure was huge, especially since our group was relatively new, comprised mostly of first timers and having to maintain a four-peat win. Despite the challenges, luck was on our side that year, securing the first place (see Figure I.a). Emotions ran high as we celebrated our victory, knowing that we would be representing our school at the regional level. It was a validating moment, affirming that we were skilled and capable in our craft. Participating in this competition for years was a remarkable experience for me, particularly because it was my first time actively engaging in competitions like this while doing what I love most at that time.

Figure I.a: DSPC 2018 Champion (left), RSPC 2018 Division III Representative (right)

Reflecting on my journey from that fateful afternoon in eighth grade to becoming a confident photojournalist, I can't help but acknowledge the profound role of self-awareness in guiding my path. Discovering my passion for photography and embracing the challenges of learning photojournalism has been a life-changing experience, one that has significantly boosted my self-esteem along the way. Through continuous practice and persistent determination, my self-concept has evolved, and I started viewing myself as a competent and skilled photojournalist, capable of capturing stories through my lens. This journey has affirmed my self-efficacy, instilling in me the confidence to continue growing and succeeding in my passion: narrating unique stories through photographs. From being an inexperienced individual unsure of my capabilities to a confident individual ready to take on new challenges, this journey highlights the importance of self-awareness, self-esteem, self-concept, and self-efficacy in personal growth and fulfillment. With this experience, I hope I can encourage others to pursue their passions wholeheartedly, embracing the journey of self-discovery and recognizing that with dedication and belief in oneself, anything is possible.

II. Learning Styles

Reflecting on the topic of learning styles in this course has encouraged me to look back on my journey in photojournalism. This passion of mine for this field wasn't something innate; rather, it required significant effort and dedication to acquire the necessary skills. This journey has highlighted the versatility of learning, showing that individuals can adapt to various learning styles. In my pursuit of photography, I found success by combining both visual and tactile learning approaches.

As a visual learner, I immersed myself in studying the work of renowned photographers and peers whose images I deeply admired. Analyzing their compositions, from the play of light and shadows to their framing techniques and storytelling prowess, allowed me to dissect what made their photographs visually captivating. By inspecting and analyzing these elements, I could then apply similar principles to my own shots, enhancing my understanding of the craft. Furthermore, I honed my observational skills by spending ample time exploring my surroundings. This practice of keen observation, seeking out intriguing compositions, lighting nuances, and compelling subjects, became second nature. It enabled me to capture moments with precision, seizing the right subject at the perfect moment.

On the other hand, tactile learning played a crucial role, especially when mastering the intricacies of camera operation. Whether handling digicams or DSLRs, I delved into the manual manipulation of camera controls, from adjusting settings like aperture and shutter speed to navigating various lenses. This hands-on approach familiarized me with the various parts of my equipment, allowing for swift adjustments and precise captures in the field. Moreover, while authenticity and natural composition are important in photojournalism, there are instances where experimentation with physical manipulation techniques can give compelling results. Whether it's subtly adjusting the placement of elements within a frame or exploring unconventional angles, this tactile approach adds another dimension to the creative process, which is helpful in achieving unique and visually captivating photographs.

On the other hand, I was also enlightened by the dominant learning style that I have, which I discovered through our lessons. From this, I've learned that I have an accommodative learning style. This was a foreign term to me, but in simple terms, it means "feeling and doing," emphasizing on concrete experiences and active experimentation. As a photojournalist, this realization was important. Emphasizing real experiences and direct interaction, it was exactly in line with the essence of what I do. Using this method allowed me to go right into the stories I photographed, forming my photographic narratives from my gut feelings, intuition, and in-person interactions. Besides improving my photography skills, this increased self-awareness strengthened my commitment to real storytelling that is based on the dynamic interaction of observation, action, and reflection.

Reflecting on my journey through photojournalism, it is apparent that identifying and utilizing the most effective learning styles is crucial for honing one's craft. The combination of visual and tactile learning styles has been extremely beneficial to my progress as a photojournalist, allowing me to breakdown and imitate the techniques of esteemed professionals while simultaneously grasping the hands-on complexities of camera operation. This thorough understanding has helped me to capture scenarios with precision and authenticity, ensuring that my photographs are rich and impactful. Moving forward, it is critical to continue this journey of self-discovery and adaptability, while remaining open to new learning opportunities and techniques. Adopting an accommodating learning approach, defined by actual experiences and continuous experimentation, can help me grow as a photojournalist. By focusing on real-world experiences and direct interaction, I can continue to provide my work with authenticity and emotion, building a stronger connection with my audience. Furthermore, committing to continuous evaluation and improvement will be essential for long-term personal and professional growth. Through continuous learning and self-awareness, I intend to push the boundaries of my creativity by creating stories that inspire, challenge thought, and elicit emotion in the ever-changing environment of photojournalism.

III. Emotional Intelligence, Growth Mindset, and Grit

Looking back on my journey as a photojournalist in high school has been a wonderful experience, but I cannot deny that there were many challenges along the way, which is inevitable. There were numerous times when I felt discouraged by people's words, especially that one time when my coaches informed me about my performance. They noticed that my photographs during training were not good enough for us to win the competition. One of them specifically said that if I did not do better in the coming days, I could be easily replaced by my co-photojournalist. It was a devastating day for me, hearing people who had been cheering me on before say those harsh and hurtful words.

From this experience, I realized the importance of emotional intelligence, especially during tough times. At that time, even though I was really hurt by their words, I made sure to understand my own emotions and recognized how the coach's words affected me allowed me to acknowledge my feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This self-awareness helped me identify areas for improvement in my photography. Furthermore, managing my emotions, especially the initial shock and disappointment, was essential. Instead of reacting impulsively or giving up, I used self-regulation techniques, such as taking a pause and reflect on what happened as well as positive self-talk to stay focused and calm, which enabled me to plan my next steps to enhance my skills. Lastly, effective communication and maintaining positive relationships with my coaches were essential. Instead of distancing myself, I engaged in discussions with them to understand their expectations better and sought advice on how to improve my work.

Aside from this, having a growth mindset to thrive in a certain field, particularly photojournalism, was also an important skill for me, especially during that time. First, a growth mindset fostered my resilience, allowing me to view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and improvement rather than viewing this and myself as failure. This perspective was crucial when facing critiques and constructive feedback. Second, it encouraged me to continue learning and skill development, which are essential in a field that constantly evolves with new techniques and technologies. Embracing the idea that skills can be developed through dedication and hard work kept me motivated to improve my craft. Lastly, a growth mindset promoted adaptability, which is vital in photojournalism, where unpredictable situations often arise. Being open to learning and adapting to new circumstances enabled me to handle diverse assignments and improve my ability to capture compelling stories through my perspective.

In addition to emotional intelligence and a growth mindset, grit is a crucial characteristic when an individual pursues their passion. In my case in photojournalism, grit means perseverance, which helps me stay committed to my long-term goals despite obstacles and setbacks. This determination ensures that I keep pushing forward, even when things get tough. Grit also fosters resilience, allowing me to bounce back from failures and use them as learning experiences. This ability to recover quickly from disappointments keeps me moving towards success. In addition, grit tells us about sustained effort over time. Consistently putting in the hard work, day after day, in training, helps me build the skills and experience necessary to excel in my field. By cultivating grit, I knew that I could remain dedicated to my passion for photojournalism, overcome challenges, and ultimately become a successful individual in my field.

As I reflect on my time as a high school photojournalist, I can't help but acknowledge the significant role emotional intelligence, a growth mindset, and grit played in overcoming challenges. What amazes me is that I was able to do all of this and more at such a young age; this course has helped me identify and recognize the strategies that helped me get through the tough times back then. This course helped me recognize the importance of understanding my own emotions, managing them effectively, and maintaining positive relationships even in the face of criticism. Moreover, embracing a growth mindset empowered me to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and improvement, while cultivating grit instilled in me the perseverance and resilience needed to push through adversity. Together, these qualities formed a solid foundation that allowed me to navigate obstacles, learn from experiences, and ultimately succeed in my endeavors. I am grateful for the introduction to these topics as they guided me towards a path of personal growth. This path involves cultivating emotional intelligence, fostering a growth mindset, and embodying grit. These principles continue to guide me in overcoming challenges and achieving success in my journey, not only in my passion for photojournalism but also in my life, a lesson I will always remember.

IV. Goal Setting and Career Plans

To rekindle my passion for photojournalism, I decided to use SMART goals to plan out what I needed to do to get my groove back. SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—this technique that I learned from class will help me create a clear and practical plan. By breaking down my objectives into manageable steps, I know that I will be able to figure out exactly what actions I have to take to dive back into photojournalism and enjoy it again. I believe that this approach would help me regain my skills, build confidence, and reignite my enthusiasm for capturing stories through my camera.

With this in mind, here's the plan that outlines the specific steps I need to take to get back into my passion for photojournalism.